I was playing the game Rust with my friend this evening, and we had decided to get off for the night whilst he finished a project. It was 12am, the time we typically get off and start doing our own thing until bed. He ended up killing and taunting some players who were building their base near ours, in the way of our expansion. Then he ended up getting killed and feeling somewhat angry or upset, mostly at himself for ‘doing something so stupid’ and letting his guard down, leaving the range of our turrets which protect him ‘like a fool’. He lost his high tier kit and a full inventory of materials to build turrets and a metal base.
An illustration would be a max level 100 person losing to a level 20 person, and losing their end game gear and an hour or so of effort as loot/resources. All of this was after mocking them a bit that their base area was his now and that they were dumb & weird for building right next to us, which meant it was ‘personal’. He felt humiliated and embarrassed, and more than that just angry and slighted. So he asked me to get back on and get our stuff back, and asked again after if we should pursue them or just get off after we initially lost to them at first. I wasn’t invested in it since I wasn’t there, but I didn’t want it to eat away at him. I told him we should get them, and that “you shouldn’t let the voice of society and conditioning get you to try to convince yourself you don’t care, repeating ‘its just a game, I should do better things with my time, etc.’ because it will eat away at you and cause conflict, frustration for the rest of the night until you wake up refreshed tomorrow.” After about 30 minutes of fighting and keeping them entirely isolated in their base for almost the entire time, alongside plenty of banter back and forth, we finally broke down their doors, took all of our gear back, and even took their base for ourselves entirely. The seething and forced nonchalantness of them was, as always, hilarious, as well as my friends fury and mocking them. There was a true fire lit in him, and as he said ‘the first time he has actually gotten mad from the game in months’.
As an addition, it’s always funny or interesting, genuinely intriguing in an observational and intellectual way, how confident and boastful anyone can be like these enemies, the words they use and the attitude or ‘untouchable & powerful’ emotion in their voice. The talking as if they’ve already won, the ‘ego’ they have, that eventually crumbles more and more as they are defeated more and more. The prideful and nonchalant attitude becoming frustrated and genuinely angry, their speech going from mockery to threats. In some ways similar to my friend, but he actually had the skills and gear to back it up, as well as justification in our territory being encroached on. I think to myself, how can they always be so arrogant and insolent, how can they genuinely think they are great or again, untouchable and all-powerful? This is a pattern you will see all throughout society, a lack of self awareness and arrogance, insolence, and ignorance.
There is true fulfillment and peace, serenity in facing an enemy who has wronged you and subjected you to injustice, as well as the instinctual repulsion to arrogance, ignorance, and insolence, and vanquishing them completely, vindicating yourself and resolving the reason for an elevation of adrenaline and cortisol (a threat). The entire ‘mission’ even, was truly fulfilling and relaxing or bringing peace, step by step, every moment and instance, such a feeling that I had never felt before or at least in a video game. It was the feeling of accomplishment, vindication, revenge (reciprocation, relaxation, release), and peace – utterly and wholly peaceful mind, body, heart, spirit, soul, energy, and blood, a calm heart and a quiet mind brought as the physical and emotional basis for this sympathetic system is fulfilled.
After we won I told my friend something along the lines of ‘you know, I feel great, we would have just gotten off telling ourselves ‘its just a game, get over it, whatever I don’t care, I have stuff to do, etc.’ and actually just wrestle with the thought wriggling in the mind and the sinking feeling in the gut, the tightened body and ‘angst’ that comes about every 40 minutes you remember it for a spell before fighting it off, for the rest of the night. He said ‘… You know you are actually right, that is literally how it would have went.’.
Have dedication to your will, don’t be afraid to just follow your will even if it takes an extra hour, and never second guess yourself; Your first instincts are always right, or, you will have more peace and less resistance following the first path.
After that, we were just running around to kill time until we were finally ready to log out. I ran around without any gear talking to people for fun, and ended up getting killed by someone outside their base. His profile didn’t have an account picture, so I checked his profile and low and behold, he was a cheater with a brand new profile, which was friends with nothing but new profiles. That meant we had to destroy their base for fun. A bunch of new players were running around, so we got three or four of them to come to the base with us to raid after I told them this base had a cheater, and were there for a couple minutes laughing. The cheater inside just kept yelling at us and threatening us, and vindicated my stance by blatantly lying about his (public) profile. The cheater and their team got very mad and we destroyed their base, leaving all the loot to the new players who thanked us and we all had a lot of fun & laughs. After that we got off and felt great, and I told him about this resolution of constriction and relaxation, fulfillment, and release or ‘a weight off our shoulders and out of our guts.’.
It truly was enlightening, in the way that if you persevere and dedicate yourself to your first instinct and/or ‘intuition’, you will come out better, and my principle that it is always better to resolve something practically than mentally; Resolve the problem that makes you need to think, fight off thoughts and feelings, and try or suffer or conflict to act a certain way.
If you are self aware or try to control and align with your mind, you have likely found instances where you cannot ‘hold back’ or ‘just calm down’, where you truly need to express yourself, your voice, and exercise your body by voice your feelings, the injustice, frustration, agitation, etc. and channeling the anger and ‘anxiety’ in your muscles out with training. Or perhaps it is rather the opposite, where you cannot do this and ‘must’ ‘repress and suppress’ yourself, your voice, your physicals actions that relieve the knots in your gut and the rage in your muscles and upset in your heart and spirit. These times where you are ‘forced’ to ‘calm down’, to tell yourself to calm down repeatedly for an hour or an entire evening until sleeping and waking the next morning, fighting against your own feelings.
It is easier and therefore better to resolve the source of conflict and problem, than fighting it off continuously with the mind, telling the body, heart, and spirit how to act with thoughts.
To not have a problem in the first place, to not have to think or try at all in the first place.
If I never met those people in the first place, I would have never had to decide to pursue them or ‘strain’ to vanquish them, in the same way that if I beat them then and there, I would never have to think about it again or ‘have to think’ at all and face conflict as the body demands injustice and response whereas the mind tells it words it cannot understand; The body does not have the ability to understand sounds like the brain does, in the same way the mind cannot control the heart and diaphragm. Words mean nothing to the body which operates on primordial instinct, and is it not better to face no issue than fight a war with words against your own body and heart?
Fulfill Your Will, and Never Fight Your Feelings.
Addition: After these activities, I recognized how great I felt in a grounded and stable way. We both kept playing and talking far later than usual, and had such a great time. After we each left, I felt inspired to write this and more, and just felt stable and consistent in a feeling of ‘niceness’. I ended up staying awake 4 hours longer than the night before, just because of how gently energized and content I felt. I felt nourished at my foundation and my essence expounded, than a sort of typical creative second-wind, akin to the difference in the feel and fulness of energy from caffeine versus a nourishing meal, sunlight, or supplements. I felt good and clear. I felt inspired, relaxed, fulfilled, and centered in my core, with my mind silent, and my body calm and cool. From choosing to persevere with my instincts communicating for resolving the source of issue, against any mental chatter of ‘its not worth it, just leave it, you can’t do anything it’s fine’, I not only resolved a source of conflict and contempt from the rest of my night, but in fact went above the norm into a truly cemented and firm good feeling. I was fulfilled at my core, and my physiology, neurology, and psychology rewarded me.
Apex of Men 